This Generation We’re Raising: What We Need to Know and Do

If you’re reading this blog, it’s because you care about kids. You may be a parent, you may be an educator, or you may just simply be one of the many who know how much kids, and their early years, matter. Since you care about kids, there’s a book you should know about.

iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy – and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood was written by Dr. Jean M. Twenge, a psychology professor who specialises in personality and behaviour trends. To understand today’s kids, Twenge accessed four databases that have collectively surveyed 11 million American youth since the 1960s. Her conclusions are based on differences found between the iGen cohort and those of earlier generations (Millenials, GenX, and Boomers) in these longitudinal databases, not on surveys that focus only on one generation. Older readers will find it as interesting to learn about their own generation, as it is to see how much iGen marks a dramatic departure.

iGen’ers were born in 1995 or later, and have always lived in a world with ready access to the internet (hence the ‘i’). It’s no coincidence that some of the features of this generation align with the introduction and widespread embrace of the smartphone. Here are some of the most notable trends:

  1. Growing up reluctantly

On milestones that tend to mark adolescence and adulthood, iGen’ers are in less of a rush, reaching them much later, if at all:

  • Comfort with leaving home
  • Going out with friends
  • Dating
  • Drinking alcohol
  • Marrying
  • Having children
  • Getting a job
  • Taking risks
  1. Growing up online

This generation spends on average six hours a day of their leisure time on “new media” (texting, gaming, video chat, social media). Social media has introduced the need to “present oneself” online, which has led to the rise of selfies and the growing practice of cultivating one’s image to look perfect. Among girls, posting photos that make them appear attractive is also a distinguishing feature of this generation. The effort to gain online friends, followers, and “likes” is significant.

This generation spends less time with friends (platonic as well as boyfriends and girlfriends) in person than previous generations, but they are arguably more preoccupied with those relationships because of how they can play out online (cyberbullying, the quest for likes, the need for instant gratification/responses). Teens hanging out with their friends daily has dropped by half over the past fifteen years, with the steepest drop since 2010 (rise of the smartphone). Many explain that it’s simply more interesting to go home, game, or watch Netflix. A by-product of this is that they have less experience learning social skills, which exacerbates other problems (see #4).

  1. Not reading and not following news

Relative to previous generations, this cohort reads less and is less aware of what’s happening in the world. Their world, via their phones and gaming systems, is small but plenty intense to keep their interest. Despite being at their fingertips, they aren’t replacing the learning potential of books with online reading and learning. “We have the most complete and instant access to information in all of history, and we’re using it to watch funny cat videos,” notes Twenge.

  1. Mentally fragile

Anxiety and depression aren’t just better recognised and acknowledged these days. The symptoms of mental illness are much more widespread, to an alarming degree. Suicide rates are significantly higher among teens, and that is despite the fact that the use of antidepressants is also higher. The reduction in time spent with others, and increase in time spent online, are known to be variables that directly impact mental health. The negative effect of excessive social media on mental health is strongest for younger teens and particularly harsh for those who are already vulnerable. In addition, girls fare worse than boys. While many iGen’ers find it hard to move away from social media, many also express that they find the use of social media stressful.

Children raised by over-involved (“helicopter”) parents, another feature of this generation, experience lower psychological well-being. The preoccupation with safety and happiness made evident with this parenting style reinforces anxiety in their children.

iGen’ers also tend to get less sleep than previous generations, and much less than is healthy. This contributes to poor physical and mental health. Sleeping with their phone means their sleep is disrupted by the pings and buzzes of incoming texts. The blue light emitted by their phones also interferes with sleep.

  1. Pre-occupied with safety

 This generation is much safer than previous generations, in large part because of their own determination to be safe. Significantly fewer drink alcohol, drive, party, get into trouble, engage in sex, and other pastimes that were more common in previous generations, and that often led to unwelcome consequences. They are less likely to be careless drivers, and less likely to drive with someone who has been drinking. Physical fights are much less common, as is sexual assault. This generation knows what is dangerous and doesn’t feel compelled to engage in it.

Their commitment to safety includes emotional safety and notable discomfort with people who say things they disagree with. This cohort finds certain topics upsetting (race relations and sexual assault were shared as two examples) and will readily launch a campaign to get professors fired and guest speakers “disinvited” should they tread into emotionally disturbing content. “Safe spaces” and “trigger warnings” (given in advance of an uncomfortable topic) are new expectations they have of universities.

iGen’ers are also relatively anxious about their financial security, making them risk-averse in their learning and pursuit of a career. Universities are expected to be places where they will be prepared for these careers, not places where they should “seek meaning” and be forced to consider ideas from multiple perspectives. They have an admirable work ethic. They know that there are no guarantees of employment and they dread the student-loan debt this questionable future includes. They are less likely to want to launch their own business because of the risk that entails. Instead, those who are keen to work want a stable job. Others, curiously, just don’t want to work and put it off as long as they can (the gaming systems are still within reach, after all).

  1. Reduction in religious and political affiliations

This is a cohort that is notably individualistic. They’re open-minded on most issues as long as the issues don’t affect them directly (gender rights, same-sex marriage, race relations, legalization of marijuana for example). They are less interested in being part of a group that would require them to conform to rules, beliefs, or policies. They are even less interested in conforming to their peers on fashion, stating clearly they want to be their own person (“materialistic nonconformists”). This open-mindedness doesn’t mean they have no opinions, however. In fact, this generation is notably less tolerant of those with opinions they oppose.

Twenge’s suggestions for how to help:

  1. Help them step away from their phones
  • Delay getting a smartphone as long as possible
  • Start with a flip phone or another device that isn’t connected to the internet
  • Leverage online tools that restrict phone use
  • Strive to keep kids from social media sites that have long feeds where they are tempted to create an online identity, and seek friends and “likes”; Snapchat is recommended because snaps only go to individuals, posts are impermanent, and there is no system of “liking” images
  • Have conversations with your child about sexting, posting revealing pictures, and pornography (an alarming part of their world)
  1. Get kids connecting with friends in person (even if you prefer the safety of having them at home)
  2. Be mindful of the rise in anxiety and depression, and take steps to help your child avoid them (lower screen time, higher in-person time, exercise, proper sleep, and expert guidance as soon as needed)
  3. Allow, and even push, them to grow up more quickly in certain respects
  • Relax curfew and rules on going out with friends
  • Insist they get their driver’s license
  • Consider a gap year as time for them to grow up a bit (independent travel, work…) before they go to college unprepared for the drastic change
  1. Reduce our preoccupation with safety
  • Don’t be quick to label normal childhood conflicts “bullying”
  • Avoid using safety as an excuse or explanation for practices and rules
  • Model and teach children how to deal with people who express an opinion you disagree with (discuss, ignore, or develop logical arguments against it)
  • Provide experiences where iGen’ers have to face (responsible) risk
  1. Meet them half-way at school
  • Provide reading material that is more engaging, up-to-date, interactive, with shorter texts, a more conversational style, and the addition of videos, quizzes, and questionnaires
  • Teach them how to judge credibility of content, evaluate sources, and recognise quality research
  • Ensure that school time is relevant (they’re anxious to learn what’s needed for a job)
  • Aim for depth over breadth of learning
  • Intentionally coax them to ask questions and take intellectual risks
  • Find ways to lessen the dramatic differences between a sheltered home life and the outside world
  • Teach them how to communicate with older coworkers and clients (conversation, negotiation, email)

We can all breathe more easily knowing that many of the dangers which plagued earlier generations are responsibly avoided by iGen’ers. Twenge’s book raises new concerns, however, and we become the irresponsible generation if they’re left unconsidered. “If they can shake themselves free of the constant clutch of their phones and shrug off the heavy cloak of fear, they can still fly,” she concludes. I have the delight of raising two iGen’ers and helping to educate hundreds. Indeed, they can fly beyond our imaginations. But the data make clear that they, like all previous generations, still require help from the adults in their midst. Thanks to Twenge’s research, we can help them launch, and soar.

igen

Grade 4 Students Enjoy Very Dramatic Literacy Workshops!

What happens when you combine classic literature with a touch of creativity, dramatic arts and technology?  Kingsway College School’s Grade 4 classes answered this question with an exciting activity that brought our reading program to life.  Building on the elements of literacy in action, learning by doing and taking responsible risks, the Grade 4 students participated in one of two fantastic workshops facilitated by The Directors Cut and the Stratford Student Player’s Festival.

The Directors Cut and The Wizard of Oz

The Directors Cut is a teacher-designed, full day workshop that engages students in collaborative, hands-on, digital/media literacy.  Technology-based, the key goal of this workshop is to promote 21st century communication skills in a fun and interactive way. Under the guidance of Ms. Dulmage and Ms. Holyck, the first group of Grade 4s researched, planned and created a graphic novel style presentation using scenes from The Wizard of Oz.

The students teamed up to define each character’s traits, then captured the plot’s twists and turns using a professional style storyboard. Their collaboration and problem solving also included organizing costumes and carefully plotting out camera angles using the drama style of tableaux.  The critical challenge that defined each group’s task was to communicate the mood of a particular scene using only still images and no dialogue.  Some excellent scenes were captured as the tableaus were exported using iMovie and then transformed into rich graphic presentations complete with transitions, sounds, voice overs and awesome special effects.  As the students shared their artistic creations, it was great to watch Dorothy, Toto and her three companions come to life travelling along the Yellow Brick Road.

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The Stratford Student Player’s Festival and Midsummer Night’s Dream

Meanwhile, a second group of students travelled to Stratford, Ontario to participate in the Stratford Student Player’s Festival Teaching Shakespeare. Based on an inspiring professional development summer workshop, Ms. Pollett-Boyle and Madame Barchuk looked forward to having the Grade 4 students learn about Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream via an interactive stage performance. In addition to reading the play together, the group investigated the life and times of William Shakespeare and discussed key literary devices, vocabulary and a student-friendly version of iambic pentameter.  The Grade 4s were very excited when professional actor Lara Jean Chorostecki (X Company, Hannibal) took time from her busy schedule to work with the eager KCS performers.

The Stratford workshop included stage combat choreography from West Side Story, followed by an analysis of characters, mood and themes from the Stratford classic Hamlet.  The most exciting part of the day was yet to come as the Grade 4s were called down to the theater to act out their scenes with a professional stage crew. Complete with one of the Grade 4s in the “booth” directing cues for lighting and sound, the KCS players took a responsible risk and performed their dramatic scenes in front of a live audience.  “I was nervous, yet very excited at the same time” commented one Grade 4 student as the entire KCS crew were congratulated for their stage presence, clarity and skillful interpretation of each scene.  The Stratford facilitators were doubly impressed when they discovered that the group from KCS was one of the youngest at the Festival.

As a fitting conclusion to the workshop, the students followed up by sharing their experiences with their classmates.  More importantly, when it was announced that funding for the Student Festival was expiring, the students rallied to the cause by writing persuasive letters to Stratford’s Educational Committee urging them to continue with the program!  After such a fun and enriching experience, the Grade 4 team looks forward to continuing with this wonderful celebration of literature and drama in action.

The Sesame E-Portfolio: An Exciting Addition, Nine Times Over

Last year we launched Sesame, a secure e-portfolio (or electronic portfolio) that captured the detailed learning journey of our PK, JK and SK students through photo, video and captions. This year, Sesame is capturing the journey of all students from PK to grade 3. As we continue to roll out this new tool, Sesame will follow our students from their first day at KCS until the day of their graduation.

This is an exciting step forward for many reasons. Here are nine of the more obvious ones:

  1. Sesame opens up the classroom to parents, colleagues and students. Through photos and videos, we’re able to share exponentially more about the world of learning happening at school. Homework doesn’t tell that story. Nor do tests, projects, assignments or report cards, at least not directly. The process matters. Sesame captures and shares it.
  2. By opening up the classroom to parents, they have a means to see the play presentations, the Show and Tell, the showcases and multiple other events that busy parents can’t always attend. On top of that, these banner days are captured to share with grandparents, friends and extended family – all who would love to see it in person, but often can’t.
  3. We now have a tool to measure and honour the attributes that matter most in life. Yes, the standard curriculum matters, and practices are in place to make sure this curriculum (and more) is effectively learned. What most of the profession still struggles with, however, is how to teach and measure growth of the equally critical soft skills, what we know as our Habits of Mind, Body and Action at KCS. Our students are taught about the Habits, and we see evidence of the Habits being practised daily. But how to measure this? By capturing evidence of the Habits in action. Sesame is our tool for the job.
  4. As an electronic portfolio, Sesame is unsurpassed in its clean, minimalist look. Suitable for all ages, it’s devoid of the distracting extra features that bog down too many tech products and take away from the pleasure of a tool that simply does its job well.
  5. It couldn’t be easier to use. With a tablet, sign-in via a personal QR code requires just one tap. One more tap and you’re adding content. It’s easy enough for our youngest students and busiest teachers. We’ve resisted adopting other e-portfolios because ease of use and efficiency matter. Sesame offers it like no other product we’ve seen.
  6. With Sesame, our students will increasingly assume ownership of the Habits they’re developing. Our students, as they become able, will take on the role of populating their portfolios with what they see as evidence of the Habits in their personal learning journey. Seeking, capturing, and commenting on these moments will reinforce their understanding and awareness of these vital attributes.
  7. Teachers have a powerful new tool to promote self-awareness and provoke behaviour-changing reflection. Having a great class? Teachers can take video to show the students later, and get their thoughts on the evidence for why it worked well. Having a class that didn’t work as well? Teachers can have the students watch that one too, and ask them to identify what the problems were. Video evidence is a powerful medium for personal growth.
  8. With photos and videos regularly updated and easily accessible at home, parents and children can have richer conversations about what their child is doing at school. These conversations both reinforce and extend the learning that’s happening in the classroom. That’s parent involvement which directly makes a difference in their child’s learning. As such, that’s an exercise we’re directly asking families to engage in.
  9. Last but not least, we now have a tool to easily capture, store, and share memories. From the Teddy Bear picnic to raucous House challenges in assembly, and all the showcases, French plays, concerts, student-led projects, and infinite other experiences that make up their days at KCS, the Sesame portfolio will follow our students from PK to graduation. Upon leaving KCS, the content will be given to students to enjoy, and even use, in their lives after KCS. As universities and employers increasingly express interest in seeing portfolios, Sesame will be ready with students’ stories of leadership, responsible risks, creativity, persistence and more.

Portfolios aren’t new at KCS, and e-portfolios aren’t new in the profession. Sesame, all it offers, and how we’re using it, however, is quite new. We’re always striving to do better. Nine times over, Sesame is one exciting example of how.

Redefining What’s Possible: TodaysMeet

‘Redefining What’s Possible’ is a series of blogs that highlights stand-out tech tools being used at KCS.

TodaysMeet - KCS student thoughts on The Giver. Most recent thoughts are displayed at the top.

TodaysMeet – KCS student thoughts on The Giver. Most recent thoughts are displayed at the top.

TodaysMeet - KCS student thoughts on The Giver. Most recent thoughts are displayed at the top.

TodaysMeet – KCS student thoughts on The Giver. Most recent thoughts are displayed at the top.

TodaysMeet - KCS student thoughts on The Giver. Most recent thoughts are displayed at the top.

TodaysMeet – KCS student thoughts on The Giver. Most recent thoughts are displayed at the top.

Ever wondered what students are thinking during class discussion? Maybe you’ve attended large meetings or conferences, and had things on your mind you wanted to contribute, but didn’t (and so has everyone else, by the way). Imagine if there were a way for everyone to share what’s on their mind in venues like these, easily and without affecting the progress of the discussion or taking up undue time. Imagine how much more everyone could take away from these occasions.

I’ve seen what my students are thinking, and what I’ve found may tempt you to give TodaysMeet try.

Here’s how it has worked in recent classes of mine. Earlier this year my reading group read Lois Lowry’s The Giver and opted to discuss the tension between ‘sameness’ and difference, both in the book and in the real world. While discussing and reflecting on this vast topic, the students went to our dedicated TodaysMeet site and posted brief messages, capturing salient points, questions, and insights. On TodaysMeet they’ve speculated and debated. They’ve shared related websites and responded to each other’s comments. Submitted posts are readily visible to all on the page, thereby provoking further thought and fuelling the class discussion and reflection. Our whole group has access to this long page of student dialogue for the rest of the year, and at any point I can print off a transcript with all that was shared. Limited to 140 characters, posts are succinct – a worthy skill to develop in itself. Intense listening while note-taking is another worthy skill being evidently developed. On top of all this, the collaborative collection was rich fodder for the writing assignment to come.

So what were these grade 6 students thinking about during our recent discussions? Quotes from Plato, and commentary on the protests in Hong Kong, the Crusades, the origins of communism, Amish society and the challenges that come with a society full of differences were among the many posts that had the group furiously engaged.

Schools are about learning. Any tool that increases learning belongs in schools. TodaysMeet exponentially increases learning by accessing a well of untapped thought and insight and engaging learners in a way that traditional discussion too often doesn’t.

Imagine what your students, colleagues or peers are thinking. Then find out.

Andrea Fanjoy,
Assistant Head, Academics
You can follow Andrea on Twitter @afanjoy.

Redefining What’s Possible: Real Lives

‘Redefining What’s Possible’ is a series of blogs that highlights
stand-out tech tools being used at KCS.

Educational Simulations: Real Lives screenshotFor all the technology at KCS, it’s a place full of the human touch. A new tool this year takes the human touch to an unusually moving, global level.

In Ontario, the grade 8 geography curriculum includes the study of human demographics in countries around the world. Students learn about the effect that such things as literacy, birth rate, maternal health and more have on mortality and quality of life. It’s one thing to ‘learn’ these things, but imagine the power of ‘living’ them. Otherwise impossible for these young Ontarians, that’s just what our students get to do using the program Real Lives.

Real Lives simulates a life for each player, based on authentic global statistics. If one-fifth of the world’s population is Chinese, then chances are that one-fifth of a class will be randomly assigned a simulated life that begins in China. They’ll be given a name, photo and detailed profile. The students’ simulated lives will start at birth and unfold naturally, as chance and statistics dictate. With each log-in, their person will age and face decision points. Gender, socio-demographics, health, disease, and natural disasters will also be assigned to these ‘real lives’ based on where they live and all other aspects of their profile. Some students will die young, others will live a long and healthy life. Malaria, famine, and drought will take many. Along the way, real life decisions need to be made by students, such as:

  • Will you help a friend in need, even if it harms you?
  • You’ve found a wallet on the ground. What will you do with it?
  • You are of the age to marry. Will you?
  • What job will you try to get?
  • You’ve come across a mess left by another individual. Will you clean it up?
  • Some friends have decided to take up smoking. Will you?
  • You’ve been drafted into the military. What will you do?

It’s a virtual game of life, where important decisions need to be made, all of which have consequences.

What do the students think of using Real Lives in the classroom? The students were very keen to use this program and to share what was happening to their avatar in the game. It provoked lively discussions about the consequences of life decisions and the plight of people in their country. With Real Lives, our oldest students were immersed in a world vastly different from their own. They experienced first-hand the threats faced by many. By identifying with their ‘real life’, the simulated became real and global empathy started to take root. Made intensely personal, it’s a geography unit that these lucky young Ontarians will not soon forget.

That’s technology with a welcome human touch.

Andrea Fanjoy,
Assistant Head, Academics
You can follow Andrea on Twitter @afanjoy.

Summertime online?

tablet device at beachIt’s June and the summer holidays are just around the corner! There will be plenty of fun times, and definitely plenty of free time for families and friends. For many of our children, free time means going online (i.e. gaming, socializing). Thus, it’s a good time to revisit with your child the expectations of being online over the summer months.

10 online topics to cover:

  1. Many children play online games whether via their gaming console, tablet, or smartphone. Know what your child’s favourite games are (are they age-appropriate?) and who they play with.
  2. Set time limits for the duration your child is allowed to be online. How early in the day are they allowed to be online? How late?  Is there a balance between online and offline activities?
  3. Children are starting to enter the social media world at a younger age. Know if your child uses social media (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, Vine, Kik, etc…) Ask them to teach you about it if you are new to any of these sites.
  4. How about the new fad of socializing via ‘anonymous questions and answers’ apps? (i.e. Ask.fm, Spring.me, Wut, etc…) An earlier KCS blog broached this topic. Is your child using these? Know who they are following and how they are using these apps. They can be a wonderful source for socializing or a means for hurt and abuse.
  5. Your child may have a number of online ‘friends’ or ‘followers’.  But what happens when someone ‘unfriends’ your child? Be prepared for mood swings, rejection and sadness. Comfort, listen and talk to your child about friendships, peer pressure and relationships.
  6. Has your child checked their privacy and security settings of their various online accounts lately? Be sure that they set these to ‘friends only’ and allow only people they know and trust to be their ‘friend’.
  7. What type of passwords does your child use online? Be sure it is alphanumeric and doesn’t contain their first name or last name.
  8. What are the consequences if any of your expectations are not met? Follow through on these consequences if need be; your child needs to understand when the line has been crossed.
  9. Are online activities a part of daily dinner conversations? Having this set as a routine will provide a safe and comforting environment for your child to communicate all the great (and not so great) things that happen online. Have a handful of responses your child can use if they come across inappropriate sites or behaviours online.
  10. Kids love taking photos. Many post these online as well. Cruise through the photos stored on your child’s device to see what exists and could possibly end up online.

Finally, as digital natives your child will innately explore the online world. It is filled with wonderful opportunities and hazy, grey ones too. As effective role models we can teach them to keep out of the questionable areas and enjoy a safe summer!

Stacy Marcynuk
Director of IT, Curriculum

Further Reading:
http://www.safekids.com/family-contract-for-smartphone-use/
http://www.safekids.com/family-contract-for-online-safety/
http://www.protectkids.com/parentsafety/pledge.htm
http://parentingteens.about.com/library/specials/nnetsafe.htm
http://www.carolinaparent.com/articlemain.php?Technology-Contracts-Help-Keep-Kids-Safe-Online-3866

It’s popular, it’s anonymous, it’s the new social media

anonymous_childFacebook and Twitter are household names. Instagram and Snapchat are becoming increasingly popular with our grades 5-8 students as they focus on sharing photos instead of text. The latest social networking sites gaining in popularity over the past year are those that allow anonymous questions and answers.

These websites encourage users to create an account or login via an existing Facebook or Twitter account. Anyone can post comments, questions and answers to anyone else’s profile, anonymously. Herein lies the opportunity to engage in negative, inappropriate and potentially abusive online behavior.

Ask.fm is the most popular example. Others include spring.me, Whisper, Secret, Wut and Sneeky. Has your child come across any of these? The best course of action is to engage in regular conversations about technology. Share new apps, favourite apps, by-gone apps, funny online photos (cats seem popular) and even ask your child to teach you something about social media and online privacy. Your child may eventually feel comfortable sharing information you may not be aware of. Give it a try!

Stacy Marcynuk
Director of IT, Curriculum

Further Reading:
The Economist – Anonymous social networking, Secrets and lies
Anonymous social networking apps: What parents can do about them
Safety Beyond Facebook: 11 Social Media Apps Every Parent Should Know About
Common Sense Media – 11 Sites and Apps Kids Are Heading to After Facebook

Be Careful What You Believe

WarningThis morning as I was reading the paper I came across this story about a local high school.  When I go home tonight, I will show this to my two kids and remind them, what you read on line is not necessarily the truth.

http://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2013/02/11/schools_seemingly_racist_rules_about_africanamericans_an_online_hoax.html

Derek Logan
Head of School

The Jekyll and Hyde of the Internet

Good and BadThe Toronto Star recently published an article asking, “Is the internet bad for us?”. Good question.

Nothing excites me more than each step forward in doing our best for students. Every concern addressed, every lesson made more impactful, and every child we more effectively connect with is the reward that reenergizes us for the next day. While not always the case, technology and the Internet, in the hands of a determined and mindful teacher, frequently play a role in these steps forward. Though I stand firmly in the camp that says the technology glass is more than half full, I’ve seen enough to know that keeping The Star’s question in the back of our minds is an important part of ensuring the glass doesn’t get knocked over.

The article lists many reasons for concern: family time dominated by laptops and texting, decreased ability to converse, constant desire for affirmation, lack of time alone with one’s thoughts or playing side-by-side with others, etc. The social conflicts inherent in growing up now often play out in cyberspace, where slights, or worse, take on a much greater significance than anything the pre-Internet generation had to face. Growing up is hard, and this generation’s abundant use of the Internet amplifies the highs and lows of this critical stage. Raising children is hard, and the Internet has likewise been a mixed blessing for parenting.

The Internet is here to stay, and to bemoan what’s bad is to miss out on all that’s good. But to revel in the positive without attention to what’s not is unwise. Teaching responsible use of the Internet is now part of what schools must do. Monitoring and having reasonable limits on use at home is now part of what parents must do. With these efforts in place, we can happily answer the opening question, “It could be bad, but not in my family.”

Andrea Fanjoy,
Assistant Head, Academics
You can follow Andrea on Twitter @afanjoy.

Technology and Dogs

Dog with paw holding a digital tablet computerMy 16 year old daughter, Alyssa, has been lobbying, begging, pleading for a dog for the past couple of years.  She leaves my wife, Heather, and I messages, demonstrates to us how good she is with our neighbour’s dog when she is asked to look after it, engages my mom to lobby on her behalf, changes the homepage on our computers and phones to a photo of a dog, etc.  We constantly remind her of the responsibilities that go with a dog:  cleaning up, walking it, feeding it, taking it to the vet, finding people to look after it when you are away, etc. etc. etc.  Alyssa believes she is ready for the responsibility.  However, as her parents, we know the dog will be both Alyssa’s responsibility and ours.  When I think about it, it’s the same as when a child gets access to technology, and the world of cyberspace, through a computer or a phone. As a parent, you will strive to play a role in watching your child to make sure he or she is using and taking care of the technology responsibly, however it may prove difficult at times.

One of our faculty forwarded me the following post earlier this week that a friend of hers had posted on her Facebook site.  I understand that it has been on FB for a while, but it was the first time I’ve come across it and I felt it would make interesting and perhaps thought-provoking reading for our families. As well, it may generate some solutions for any challenges parents of wired kids may be faced with.

A kid just got an iPhone from his parents. His mom wrote these [slightly edited] rules for its use:

  1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren’t I the greatest?
  2. I will always know the password.
  3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads “Mom” or “Dad”. Not ever.
  4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone’s land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.
  5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It’s a life skill.
  6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs.
  7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay out of the crossfire.
  8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.
  9. and again… Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.
  10. No porn.
  11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.
  12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else’s private parts. Don’t laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear — including a bad reputation.
  13. Don’t take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.
  14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO — fear of missing out.
  15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.
  16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.
  17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without Googling.
  18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.